Ah the Bank Holiday is here and the rain has thoughtfully joined us! Nothing different there then!
It is also the time for holidays: from school or university as well as a few days possibly well earned rest from work. This can be a time for families to get together, to relax and chill. It can also be a time for deeper conversations and when children can say something unexpected.
It is also the time for holidays: from school or university as well as a few days possibly well earned rest from work. This can be a time for families to get together, to relax and chill. It can also be a time for deeper conversations and when children can say something unexpected.
" Mum I have something to tell you"
"I think I'm * "
* gay / lesbian/ transgender / bisexual
Mum may calmly acknowledge these words but inside she's hurting. She tells her husband/partner later that day, when it's quiet. Dad erupts.
So much for those later years of serene parenthood :
"they told me that the first 18 years are the toughest".
Now they need to respond with a series of questions:
It was that last question which means so much -
What do you mean?
For many parents, brought up in a patriarchal society where homosexuality was a crime, they have never had to actively consider the issue. Yes the Daily Fail has mentioned it in passing within a headline or it has been a transient feature on Eastenders or Corrie but the parents have never ever paused to consider it
for real.
So much for those later years of serene parenthood :
"they told me that the first 18 years are the toughest".
Now they need to respond with a series of questions:
- why?
- who did this to you?
- what do you mean?
It was that last question which means so much -
What do you mean?
For many parents, brought up in a patriarchal society where homosexuality was a crime, they have never had to actively consider the issue. Yes the Daily Fail has mentioned it in passing within a headline or it has been a transient feature on Eastenders or Corrie but the parents have never ever paused to consider it
for real.
And now it is for them...as it always has been real for their child.
To gain that understanding what it really means to be #LGBT requires a lot of time. To put down all those past concepts and to read afresh what they are going through and how it impacts upon them will take time. To give yourself that opportunity to read books on the subject (sadly so much of it from a US point of view), to check out websites which provide so much detail it appears unfathomable at first. We can hear so many divergent views, again so sadly many from within the Church who struggle to release themselves from Jewish laws, although gladly some churches are becoming far more 'inclusive' and welcoming. It may take time to find that understanding, that our child is ok, and needs support and love.
By meeting up with parents who are still caught up in this maelstrom of anxieties we can know that we are not alone. To meet up with parents who have weathered the storm, yes it does still occasionally up skittle them, we can see that the light at the end of the tunnel gives hope.
For your child to see that you can begin to understand what they are saying, to allow them to work through whatever they need to do and to love them, yes truly love them, will make the next period of your life incredible.
For more information on LGBT terminology please click here.
Why not contact FFLAG, Friends and Families of Lesbians and Gays; if in the Midlands, NewRoadParents; and with respect to #Transgender, Mermaids?
We have regular parent support group meetings at a central venue with lots of tea/coffee and sumptuous cakes!
By meeting up with parents who are still caught up in this maelstrom of anxieties we can know that we are not alone. To meet up with parents who have weathered the storm, yes it does still occasionally up skittle them, we can see that the light at the end of the tunnel gives hope.
For your child to see that you can begin to understand what they are saying, to allow them to work through whatever they need to do and to love them, yes truly love them, will make the next period of your life incredible.
For more information on LGBT terminology please click here.
Why not contact FFLAG, Friends and Families of Lesbians and Gays; if in the Midlands, NewRoadParents; and with respect to #Transgender, Mermaids?
We have regular parent support group meetings at a central venue with lots of tea/coffee and sumptuous cakes!
It's a time to chat, to share and mutually support each other on our journey, as we support and love our children.