We believe that it is vital that parents can support their child, possibly more so if they identify as LGBT+. The trauma the child faces is immense and prolonged but, as a Parents Support Group, we wondered how the parents cope.
In Diverse Church they have run 2 'Twitter days' where first Mums and then Dads could tweet about their lives as they walked alongside their child. It has been seen as greatly encouraging to other parents as well as the young Diverse Church individuals.
[Really worth a look at both links]
For #Transgender individuals they also have the issue of personal pronouns: is it he, she, they or a gender-neutral pronoun? This is very important as it shows respect with their change. Remember that it may not be how they express themselves (how you see their gender) but how they feel inside which determines what pronoun they wish others to use. Here's a link to a guide but really, it's better to ask them for their personal preferred pronoun.
In Diverse Church they have run 2 'Twitter days' where first Mums and then Dads could tweet about their lives as they walked alongside their child. It has been seen as greatly encouraging to other parents as well as the young Diverse Church individuals.
[Really worth a look at both links]
For #Transgender individuals they also have the issue of personal pronouns: is it he, she, they or a gender-neutral pronoun? This is very important as it shows respect with their change. Remember that it may not be how they express themselves (how you see their gender) but how they feel inside which determines what pronoun they wish others to use. Here's a link to a guide but really, it's better to ask them for their personal preferred pronoun.
Always better to ask "What is your preferred personal pronoun?" #Respect
We've read 'Dazzling Darkness' by Rev Rachel Mann before but it has never been so real to us until recently.
The book tells the story of Rachel and this part in particular relates so closely to our story. The following quote from the book has encouraged us and reassured us that, as parents, love is the answer.
The book tells the story of Rachel and this part in particular relates so closely to our story. The following quote from the book has encouraged us and reassured us that, as parents, love is the answer.
My family had known me as Nick for over twenty years. I had grown up in their company and been significantly shaped by them.... And quite suddenly I was trying to erase that person from the world, The last male thing I remember giving my parents was dressing up in a suit for my MA ceremony in 1993. After that I was ruthless. Even during the period before I changed my name legally I started insisting upon being addressed by female pronouns and being called Rachel by my family. They were kind and generous and tried to comply with my wishes. I was the opposite of kind: I would sulk and correct them when they used male pronouns or used Nick. My parents had named me and nurtured me and I bullied them, corrected them and cajoled them. At the time I considered it necessary. Maybe to convince people of such a radical change ruthlessness is unavoidable.... |
Please click on the picture of the book cover if you wish to look at the review or buy the book (other alternative book sellers are available and please always consider buying locally).
Can there be a time for leaving the child, the child that you raised?
There's an emphatic No resounding from here but for many LGBT+ individuals, especially transgender, this is not always so.
We recommend have a read of this book and not lose hope if you are insulted and rejected; focus on the love that you have always had for your child. As it has been said a lot on social media since #SCOTUS...
There's an emphatic No resounding from here but for many LGBT+ individuals, especially transgender, this is not always so.
We recommend have a read of this book and not lose hope if you are insulted and rejected; focus on the love that you have always had for your child. As it has been said a lot on social media since #SCOTUS...
#LoveWins